How a relationship ends, whether it is a marriage or a significant partnership, will determine how you are able to move on and when. There are many wives tales about how and when to start dating again after a breakup, but really it is just common sense… take your time. Getting back on the dating scene is not something that needs to be rushed.
The end of a relationship is traumatic and it will take time to get over, it is just that simple. But when you feel that you are ready, there are some things that can make it easier to get back on the dating scene.
Getting back on the dating scene – some tips
Firstly, you have been in a relationship for a long time and you are used to being with another person, this is the first reason to not go looking for someone else immediately. You have to spend some time getting to know yourself as a single person.
This is of course difficult and especially in the beginning you will feel lonely, all the insecurities that have been bubbling under the surface will show themselves, not to mention the anxiety about going out alone.
But after a while you will come to feel a sense of self sufficiency and independence that in itself can be a wonderful experience. Whatever emotions you feel during this time, they are completely normal, let yourself feel them but try not to wallow.
This is also a time for you not only to come to terms with yourself as a single person, but also a time to mourn the loss of your relationship: again, very important.
Once you have taken this time you can begin to socialize, this does not mean going out on dates but rather spending time with a friend or group of friends and going out and having some fun. This will also give you the confidence to start socializing on your own with friends. A friend might suspiciously bring along a single friend that you have never met or heard of before.
Don’t take this as an insult but rather try to see it as your friends getting used to the single you and more than that, trying to be supportive and helpful. It may make you feel uncomfortable or as if you are under a spot light, but this will pass.
How you present yourself is important, the first impression you make is up to you. You do not need to radically change your appearance or the way you dress. A few small changes can make a big difference.
For example take yourself for a haircut for no other reason that it will make you feel good, then add a few new items to your wardrobe, don’t completely change your style but simply add a few key pieces, like a nice jacket or pair of shoes.
The purpose of these little changes is also to build your confidence. This new single self is new and deserves a few little treats and changes to make it happen, you can spoil yourself, you really do deserve it.
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