Recovering from a messy break up is never easy, and the complicated emotions that you experience at the end of a romantic relationship can effect every aspect of your daily life if you do not deal with them appropriately. By following a few common sense steps to getting over your heartache, you will eventually find yourself feeling a little bit better every day and will soon be ready to start looking for a new partner. Remember, no matter how badly you might be feeling right now, nearly everyone has been in your shoes before, and recovering from heartache is simply a part of life. Here are some of the best ways to rebuild your confidence and move on from your last relationship.

Avoid Communicating with Your Old Flame

While it would be great if all former lovers could remain being great friends once their relationship came to a close, the truth of the matter is that staying in touch with your ex when you still have romantic feelings for him or her can make it nearly impossible to move forward. If necessary, have a honest conversation with the person and let them know that you simply cannot continue speaking with them for a little while. This might be a little bit tricky if your work with the person or share the same circle of friends, but it is well worth your effort to sever all ties until you regain your confidence.

Get It Out of Your System

In order to regain your sense of confidence, you are going to have to start by being honest with how you really feel about what you are going through. It is no use pretending that you are not feeling hurt and depressed in order to try to appear strong to everyone. Find a friend or family member that you can count on and spill your heart out. Some of the best ways to start feeling better is to express yourself through writing about your feelings, expressing yourself in art or participating in competitive sports. Once you have gotten everything off your chest, you will find that it is much easier to start moving forward.

Take Pride in Your Appearance

Once you are done wallowing in your own misery, it’s time to get yourself cleaned up. Ladies might start feeling better about themselves after a visit or two to the salon, while guys need to consider losing that post-breakup beard and pulling themselves together. Take out those clothes that you know that you look good in, or, better yet, head out to your favouring clothing store for some new threads.

Strut Thyself

Nothing will help you regain your confidence like receiving some positive signals from strangers. Visit your favorite hot spots and make yourself seem available. With the right body language and eye contact, people will start letting you know that you are the hot stuff that you know you are. Don’t be afraid to engage with people in a little bit of harmless flirting, even if you do not intend on letting things get anywhere. The more that you notice that people are interested in you, the better that you will feel about yourself.

Due to the death of a spouse or divorce, it is not uncommon to be alone at some point during the second half of life. People who find themselves in this situation may eventually begin to long for romance and companionship but this is not the time to be swept away by emotion. Finding a suitable mate should be approached logically and with caution. This is where online dating services are useful, providing the ability to narrow the field easily, safely and comfortably.

Of the many online dating sites from which to choose, some simply provide a place to connect with others at no charge. Unlike free dating sites, fee-based services usually provide matching based on many variables such as preferences and interests. At this stage of life, most people want to meet others with whom they are assured some level of compatibility. In the interest of time, it is wise to use a paid service that provides potential matches based on specific criteria.

When pursuing online dating, whether during the profile completion phase or later on during initial contact with potential matches, keep the following points in mind:

Honesty – It is normal to present oneself in the best possible light. Unfortunately, this tendency can lead to misrepresentation or misunderstanding. Beware of overstatements. Avoid making them and be wary if the other party seems too good to be true. Also, keep in mind that being honest does not require disclosure of personal information. Keep your personal information private until you feel completely comfortable sharing.

Clarity – Know what you are looking for ahead of time. Make a list of desired qualities so that you can effectively focus your search. Also make a list of deal breakers and stick to it. Some things are just not negotiable and that’s okay. It is better to determine early on whether a potential match is a viable option rather than wasting valuable time on a relationship with no future.

Safety – As online dating requires contact with complete strangers, be vigilant when it comes to safety. There is no guaranteed way to know ahead of time the true personality or motives of potential matches. While it is assumed that they are just like you and simply seeking romance and companionship, it is best to be safe. Until you know the person well, communicate through the dating site and stay on a first name only basis. During the early stages of getting to know someone, meet in public places and do not divulge your address, phone number, place of work or any other personal information.

Compatibility – Seek to determine early on whether you and a potential match are compatible. Just like you, the people you meet will already be set in their ways. In addition, each person is a package deal that may come with pets, kids, grandkids, health issues and a variety of personal habits or idiosyncrasies. Ensure that there is mutual comfort with the individual packages that are being presented.

Everyone’s obsessed by sex and many feel they not wanting to jump in to bed with their partner is not normal.

The reality is not feeling sexual desire is perfectly normal as the body ages, according to the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT).

So next time you would rather sit in front of the telly with a nice cup of tea dunking a digestive, don’t ask yourself wants wrong, congratulate yourself for acting your age.

Many older couples in relationships are happy to have a lovey-dovey mate rather than a full-on sexy partner.

Sometimes the mind’s willing but the body’s weak

Companionship and shared interests are more important later in life.

Of course, having a sex drive is not wrong and many older couples have a perfectly satisfying time in bed – but probably not quite so frequently as before.

In a lot of cases the mind’s willing but the body’s weak, as aches and pains take their toll and reduce agility.

It’s only when you feel age that you realise that you can’t dance the night away any more with a toy boy or trophy girl half your age.

A lot of older singles looking for romance try and compete with a younger generation to recapture lost youth, but for many, this just brings disappointment and frustration because they just can’t keep up with the pace.

Growing old disgracefully

- You can still grow old disgracefully and have a lot of fun along the way. Just trying cruising in second gear rather than racing away at full speed.

- Certainly people in relationships are expected to want to have sex with each other frequently and it can be difficult if their levels of desire don’t match up., says BASRT.

- First of all it is important to remember that sexual feelings ebb and flow over time and it perfectly common to have periods of lower and higher desire.

If you don’t feel desire over a long period of time it is worth asking yourself whether this really bothers you.

So next time your nudged or messaged by a bronzed cliff diver who enjoys gymnastics, put the kettle on before you reply.

Singles new to online dating often have the same fears and doubts over meeting people online and the safety of their personal data because some of the over 50s are not so familiar with the internet as youngsters. Here are some answers to the questions many ask:

I face to face relationships, why should I try online dating?

Like most things, this is down to personal choice. Lots of people find online dating lets them meet others from the comfort, convenience and safety of their home and means they can get to know and trust other singles before that first so-important meeting. Don’t forget online life is not a replacement for real life.

Is my personal information safe with an online dating site?

This is one of the top worries for people of all ages, including the over 50s, looking for friendship online. Providing the site has secure payment and data access, you should have no problems. The usual online advice applies, the same as dating in real life, like not giving out personal information to strangers or not sending them credit card details.

Am I likely to meet someone I like online?

The chances are likely, according to regular online dating surveys, including an independent Which? survey of 1504 online dating users, including many over 50s looking for friendship, love and romance online, seven out of 10 (71%) said either they or a friend had gone on a date with someone they had met online. One in six said they had started a long-term relationship with a partner they met online.

Just treat online dating like fun and act the same as if you were out with friends.

Do I need a dating profile?

Yes. Lots of singles check out likely friends from their profile photo and details. Spend a while refining your profile and you must post a clear and up to date photo. A good profile and photo will screen out people who are not interested and make sure that those who are looking for someone like you don’t miss you. Keep your profile up-to-the-minute, and don’t say things about yourself that are not true because you will be caught out in the end.

I’m new to online dating – how do I talk to someone I like?

Many online dating sites like Love Generations have email and emoticons – little graphics showing smiles, kisses, winks and other signals – that you can send to someone to break the ice. Chat rooms also let you ‘whisper’ someone you like with a private comment, like whispering to them in real life.

Getting back in to the dating game can be difficult for some singles after divorce or the break up of a long relationship.

One of the main ‘social’ services offered by online dating is sites like Love Generations offers someone who is vulnerable and fearful of rejection a safe haven for meeting new people.

For many, with established support groups of friends, neighbours and family, it’s difficult to date and be themselves while living in a goldfish bowl.

In the back of a singleton’s mind are several fears -

* Will your friend or relation report your dating activities back to other people you know?

* Will they try and exert peer pressure by approving your new relationships?

* Do you really want to reveal your innermost secrets to someone who knows your friends and family?

Even if you would like a romance with someone in your circle, all these fears are off-putting to say the least.

Online dating rids your mind of these fears and lets singles be themselves. Not only that, but it’s likely many of the people you meet online are also enduring the same experience, so you have a better understanding of each other.

Don’t interpret this as advice to ditch your old circle if you are divorced or single again. The idea is to broaden your circle of friends with online dating while maintaining your privacy and self-respect, not to get rid of your old relationships.

Online dating does allow you to be the ‘you’ that you want to be, not everyone else’s idea of what you should be.

Try some stepping out in to some new activities that you have had to put aside while bringing up your family. Throw out those old clothes and spruce up your look.

The freedom to express you with like-minded people by dispelling those fears of approval and rejection is what online dating brings in to the lives of many people.

So sign up and see what Love Generations can offer you. After all, the gains could be huge and you really have nothing to lose.

With the holiday shopping season just wrapping up and a new year beginning just around the corner, we are all almost certain that we’ve found the perfect gift for the men in our lives. While it is essential to put time, effort, and thought into gift giving, it is always important to double check that you did not purchase anything that your man may not enjoy to the fullest. Below is a list of gifts a woman should never give to a man.

Flowers are a lovely gift for women to receive and a kind gesture, but they should never be given to a man. For a woman, flowers have a sentimental value and provoke thought and warm feelings. However, for a man, flowers are a serious jab to one’s masculinity. If you want to express your love for your man, choose to do so with a more practical gesture – find something that your man will use everyday like cologne or aftershave that will remind him that you were thinking of him.

Scrapbooks piece together memories of wonderful times the two of you have spent together. They contain photographs, ticket stubs, quotations, pictures, stickers, etc of your most special times as a couple. While it is great to collect all of these documents in one place, it is never appropriate to give your man a scrapbook of all of these memories. He’s not going to pick up a frilly scrapbook and flip through its decorated pages with the same warm feelings that you will.

With that said, you can always opt for creating a collage or shadow box, choosing one theme to be most prominent. If your man has a favourite sports team, you can put some effort into crafting a display of memorabilia along with ticket stubs and photographs, depicting moments that you may have shared together. In this way, you are putting together memories in the same way that you would a scrapbook, but you are presenting the collection so that it could proudly be hung on any wall of the manliest man cave.

Last, it is important that you never, ever give your man an unwarranted change in wardrobe. It may seem like a good idea at first to give your man some new clothing outside of his typical wardrobe, but generally this is a bad idea. Men usually establish a barrier between their working gear and their casual clothing, and if this is the case for your man, do not attempt to blur the two. Sweaters, expensive denim, scarves, moccasins, etc all may look good on store models and in advertisements, but if you give your man an article of clothing that is outside of his comfort zone, chances are he’ll be uncomfortable wearing it.

If your man is willing, offer to take him out on a shopping excursion to pick up some new items that may make him more stylish and up-to-date. This way, you can work together toward a compromise about acceptable fashion. Giving your man new kinds of clothing without considering his feelings will result in either a confused face or the look of extreme discomfort while wearing the garment you’ve given him.

While there are many appropriate gifts to give your man, these are just a few that can often go awry. Men often like useful gifts, so always think about practicality in addition to sentimentality when choosing the right gift for your man.”

Just what is the etiquette for buying Christmas presents for someone you have recently started dating?

After all, you don’t want to look like a Scrooge by not putting your hand in to your pocket or purse to buy something for your new partner.

On the other hand, you haven’t been together long enough to know how things are going to go and you don’t want to embarrass yourself by splashing out on someone you might never see again.

It’s the Christmas dating dilemma for anyone in a new relationship.

You may not even have had your first kiss or cuddle yet and you have to make this decision that could make or break your friendship or romance before love has had a chance to blossom.

Cut off day for buying new partners a present

The etiquette on this is simple – play things cool.

If you are new friends but have been together for more than a week before Christmas, then you ought to mark the occasion with a small gift.  At this time, you have probably met once or twice and have a ‘history’ online.

The official cut-off for not buying presents is a week before Christmas. After all, you barely know him or her.

Most people would find this a socially acceptable solution to the dating dilemma.

Don’t be branded a Christmas gift tart

If your partner lavished Christmas gifts on you and for some reason you broke up soon after, just think of the gossip and rumourmonger in the online chat rooms – gold digger, Christmas tart and worse that you would have to explain and live down.

Of course, the danger is here that your new partner wants to impress and flatter you by expressing undying love through extravagant gifting too early in the relationship.

If you are suckered in to going down this route, the dating dilemma has got you.

One of the best ways to beat the dilemma is a simple price ceiling on gifts – chat with your partner and explain you would like to mark the season by buying him or her a card and a small gift.

Then agree how much you will spend – maybe a maximum of £5 or £10. That we you show you care and do not look a Scrooge when showered with Christmas gifts and your partner has their dilemma of how much to spend resolved as well.”

Are you a cougar or a pussycat in the dating world as a woman aged over 50 looking for friendship, romance or love?

Cougars are the new sexually aware group of feisty females prowling for a younger mate, inspired by role models like the girls from Sex In The City or Desperate Housewives.

Even Madonna, who is 51, admits she enjoys life as a cougar with her boyfriend whose mother is even 15 years younger than Madge.

How to test if you are a Cougar

Various surveys have tried to find out the make-up of a typical cougar  – and if you can answer ‘yes’  to these questions, then you’re one of the slinky, sensuous cougar females:

* Are you seeking a serious relationship?

Most cougar girls are not looking for casual fun.

* Are you divorced or separated?

Most cougars seem to be hunting down some excitement after a marriage break-up

* Do you pay your way or let the guy fork out on dates?

Cougars will split the bill or let their trophy man pay rather than dip in to their own purses

* Do you go for guys aged in their mid-20s?

Cougars are on the prowl for 24-27 year olds not babes in the cradle.

* Have you dated at least five younger guys?

A proper cougar knows what she wants and goes for the kill – being a cougar is a choice not a one-off.

If you did answer ‘yes’ to the questions, then don’t be ashamed, cougars are the queens of the dating jungle and definitely higher up the food chain than their younger rivals, the cheetahs.

What makes a Pussycat?

Don’t forget that as much as an older woman enjoys the more energetic attentions of a younger guy and likes the attention of him hanging off her arm and every word in public, those younger guys are turned on by the maturity and experience of a cougar woman.

If you answered ‘no’ to the questions, then you’re definitely more of a pussycat. Still soft and sensual, you are someone who likes to stay closer to home snuggled up with a guy more her age in front of a warm fire.”

Life may begin at 40, but it certainly doesn’t end at 50 so don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself if you have no romance in your life, get up and do something about it.

Teenagers may gross out at the thought of over 50′s dating but to be fair I bet all of use in our golden years don’t feel a day over 21 in our heads even though the creaking joints and extra padding try to tell us different.

Who wants to be 20 again?

If life has taught us anything, it’s that we don’t want to be 20 again – we’d rather remain as we are thank you, with all that accumulated wisdom that makes finding a partner less of a problem than we found at 20.

After all, we’re worldlier wise, more tolerant of our faults and those in others and generally just go about life to have some fun.

That’s why dating sites like Love Generations are so popular. For the over 50′s, settling in to a conversation with people in your Baby Boomer peer group who understand your outlook on life takes all the hassle from looking for that extra spark in your life.

Dating sites are great. Most sites probably have more over 50′s singles as members in one place at any one time than most small towns. You can browse profiles and pictures and strike up a conversation without fear of rejection.

Who cares if you’re bang on trend?

No one cares if you’re carrying a few extra pounds or whether you are bang on trend with the latest fashions.

I bet several of you sitting there reading this now are in your dressing gowns!

Try going down the pub dressed like that and see what people would say.

Dating sites like Love Generations have all the benefits of home shopping – you are in control, have a huge pool of potential friends, companions and partners to choose from and people have something in common with you.

What more could you ask? Well, when they find some way to pipe lager down broadband cables!

According to a recent article in The Daily Mail, one in four of all the 39 million internet users in the UK are over the age of fifty due to the fact that over a million over 50′s went online for the first time in the past twelve months.

This boost to the number of silver surfers has been brought about by sites specifically designed for the wants, needs, and lifestyles of the more mature adult population. There are new websites, and there are those in already in existence which have been modified or expanded to cater for the many interests and the outlook of those who are over half a century old but who feel as young as ever.

Here at Love Generations we’re ahead of the game. We long ago recognised that there are literally a million or two people out there over the age of fifty who are single, full of life and looking for new partners.

Now, as these new people join the internet generation there are many more reasons to become a member and to upgrade your membership. It looks like the over 50′s are going to be busier than ever!”